Features

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There's really no point in learning things on your own when our features section can tell you everything you need to know! We offer life guidance, opinions on popular films, greeting cards to delight and arouse close friends, and much more. Who knew the Internet could be so helpful?

Choose a category below, and save your brain's strength for evaluating the hotness of members of the opposite sex.

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In Other News

Science
Paleontologists Make Rare Discovery That Will Finally Get Them Laid (03/08/10)

Politics
MPAA Assigns Obama PG-13 Rating For Adult Themes, Smoking (03/04/10)

Letters
Your Letters Answered (03/03/10)

Science
Whale Trainer's Death Reveals Hidden Dangers Of Anthropomorphizing Carnivorous Predators (03/01/10)

Business
Emotionar Toyota CEO Make Prea To Rawmakers, Predge To Improve Vehicres (02/28/10)

Politics
Democrats, Republicans Draft Bipartisan Legislation Requiring Both Parties to Disagree on Everything, Always (02/25/10)

Politics
God Once Again Fails To Kill Dick Cheney (02/23/10)

Editorial
Black History Month Seems Pretty White To Me (02/22/10)

U.S.
Man Discovers That His Best Talent Is Masturbating (02/16/10)

Politics
Bill Clinton Hospitalized For Erection Lasting More Than Sixteen Years (02/12/10)

Business
Just For Men To Market 'Touch Of Gay' Hair Product (02/09/10)

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