Yahoo User Movie Reviews: The Polar Express

Film Synopsis:
If you've ever watched a children's movie and thought, "This could look a lot creepier," The Polar Express might be for you. It stars an inexplicable computer-generated replica of Tom Hanks, who looks kind of like the real Tom Hanks if he sat in embalming fluid for six months. Yahoo users seem divided...

Family Board Game Night Instead!

by gagaforgandalf Nov 10, 2004
14 of 35 people found this review helpful

Why not pass on the polar express (dullsville) and break out some classic boardgames instead? Parcheesi anyone? Last one to the rec room's a rotten egg! Sure you could shell out big bucks to be bored silly by Tom Hanks but maybe you'd be happier playing a few rounds of Connect four or Boggle. Why not bust out the old monopoly board? If you're missing some of the playing pieces, don't panic, just substitute buttons or pennies, toys soldiers or what have you. And best of all you'll be using the old noggin, not just sittin' in some theater like a zombie watching some mush mouthed computer generated Tom Hanks look alike spouting crack pot theories about St. Nicholas. Truly, board games are the one sure fire ticket to learning AND fun, so it might be smart to make room under your tree this year for a couple more-just a thought (hint, hint) But to get back to the movie, suffice to say I think you should give the Polar Express the old heave ho and "yule" be saying Yahtzee! in no time. Just don't blame me if someone "sinks your battleship!"

Josh: Either this person is a Milton-Bradley viral marketer, or they really, really like boardgames. They also like puns bad enough to make my eyes hurt from crying so much.

Hardly Heartwarming

by beaniebabyafficianado Nov 10, 2004
5 of 15 people found this review helpful

First of all the"actors" in this movie aren't even real people at all. The whole thing's done with claymation (remember the California Raisins? same thing!- just nowhere near as entertaining.) A lot of the voiceover was done by just one actor -Tom Hanks so you know right off that they were cutting corners and does it ever show. Some of the scenes were so patently unbelievable and ridiculous I had to punch my clenched fist into the seat in front of me repeatedly. All I want for Christmas is a refund!

Josh: That's right, folks: the technology behind The Polar Express is the same movie magic that brought you the California Raisins and Gumby. I guess somebody ought to tell Tom Hanks that he just spent hundreds of hours with little tabs taped to his face for nothing.


by fordtruckgirl4jesus Nov 10, 2004
5 of 18 people found this review helpful

You may think you want to see a movie about the polar train but do you really want to see a lot of satanist propaganda? Well the makers of this film clearly only care about SHOCK VALUE and the ALMIGHTY DOLLAR. But then what else can you expect from the depraved minds in hollywood and their "friends" in the liberal media. TO REITERATE :THIS FILM IS PURE FILTH. Don't listen to the hollywood liberals who want you to watch this.

Josh: There's a lot to like about this review, but my favorite part is the repeated mistaken title, "The Polar Train". Gets me every time.

Don't get "railroaded"

by blldxn Nov 10, 2004
8 of 17 people found this review helpful

Hanks and Zemeckis get badly "off track" in this disastrous movie. If the grotesque animation doesn't "derail" your enjoyment, The plot which rapidly "loses steam" will. This is one film that turned our theater into a "sleeping car." That's because "Tom Hanks" has not made a "good movie" Take my word for it, This is "the little train that couldn't"

Josh: Good lord, the puns this week are like a "runaway train" that's "steaming" into my brain and giving me a "hemorrhage"!

I Love Christmas - If you do - Avoid this Bomb

by jeffcamry Nov 10, 2004
8 of 19 people found this review helpful

This really, really is bad. To start the animation seems like something from the 70's. The story is palin weird and unrelatable. The characters are weird and unbelievable. Go save your money and time and rent something with more substance like The Grinch. sarcasm.

Josh: Another Yahoo User with a sharp eye for visuals. This movie could've just as easily been done in 1979 on a couple of Apple IIs.

Best Film of the Year

by deckmanma Nov 12, 2004

This is the best film I have seen in a long time. There was no bad language, no sex, and no violence. That has to be a first. This is a movie for all ages and the entire family. Tom Hanks did an outstanding job. The animation was so realistic. I do a lot of stuff on my computer and this just enspired to do even more. Anyone who gives this less than a B+ doesn't know much about film making, computers, or animation. I loved it so much I could watch it over and over again.

Josh: The Polar Express: making history as the first film ever not to have any sex, language, or violence. Other filmmakers could learn a lot from this movie.

A Must See Film For The Whole Family

by columbuspoet Nov 13, 2004

I really Enjoy this film and the way this film is Put together, A Must See Film For The Whole Family. Wait till You see this very Funny and Loving Story with One Boy's Faith And Wish To Meet Santa, This Movie brings The Kid out in All of us and we will all want to be this Kid Friend and to want to reblive in Santa, again Go and See This Grate Film Of All Time.This film makes me wish I had this kinda faith In God To Belive That As a Jolly ole sait Nick as santa to also re store one's Faith In God. There is not one part in this film I did not like I like the whole film. Columbuspoet - Richard of Nebraska

Josh: So wait...Santa Claus is God? Or Am I Misintepreting Your review Somehow?

Robert Zemeckis return me to jesus

by iamgeorge2004 Nov 11, 2004

jesus said if you not return and live like a baby you can not enter and come to me .i hope to live this story one day and i wish to enter this polar express evry year and thanks Robert Zemeckis and tom hanks for this great job and bye to noel 2005

Josh: Well, that settles it -- I guess Santa Claus really is Jesus! POLAR TRAIN MORE LIKE POLAR JESUS RETURN TO ME

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:



The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills: