Letters: March 30, 2009

We got so many letters this week that our official Enduring Vision computers crashed! When we got them back online, these few comments were all that remained, which is a good thing, because most of the others were unprintable material that would've gotten us arrested.

Watch As We Get History Wrong!

When did Aretha Franklin record a version of "Dancing In The Streets"? That's a Martha Reeves & The Vandellas song. I have been searching google and I don't think Aretha ever recorded this song. - TheRunwayDiva

Josh: Exposing our old stories to the public once again reminds us that in the old days, we could not afford to employ a fact-checker, so our writers would literally pull information out of their asses -- made-up facts were printed on laminated index cards that we made them swallow whole as a laugh. Anyhow, we have made the correction. The Enduring Vision regrets that you found the error.

Staff Members Writing In?! What's Next, A Black President?

You know what I miss? When friends and staff members would write comments to complain about UPHS, when you could insult people by calling them "little brother of Walt Hack", when random people would write in every week to say evolution is made up, back when the EV was local-- not the international world-renowned site it has become. Alas, that time shall never return. Until then (whenever it may be), I'll just have to read all the old letters on the site. Love, - Scott. The staff writer.

Josh: I would pay pretty much any amount of money to see John Brittingham write us a letter.

And Now, Two Letters From The Site's Co-Founder. (No, Really.)

No stories about marijuana pulling down the letter count? How about a letter about a story that doesn't even exist! The marijuana decriminalization argument, at least speaking from a California perspective, is bordering on absurd. I won't sit here and extol the therapeutic nature of marijuana, but rather consider the issue from a purely economic standpoint. The stuff is essentially legal through a system which all acknowledge as corrupt (see California prop 215). Why not legalise the shit and at least allow the state to recover some of its shameful debt? A 14 Billion dollar industry which is being effectively untaxed, but permitted to operate? Its a good day to be a marijuana farmer in the great state of California. The true absurdity comes from the fact that many of these farmers are doing it "legally" under prop 215. Personally, I have no problem with this. However, the fact that California legislators don't, is utterly mind-boggling. There, I said it. Holler at the EV. SoCal representin'. - Dan

[Later that day... - Ed.]

Obama appears in iPhones. Then again, iPhones were probably designed by a bunch of NorCal-living, reefer-smoking, obama-loving homos. - Dan

Josh: Dan, we all feel thrilled and aroused that you've broken from your self-imposed EV exile to send us not one, but two letters! We hope you've found what you're looking for in sunny debt-ridden California (i.e., marijuana), and that one day, you will re-join us as with the same fervor that liberals buy iPhones.

Wouldn't Be A Letters Update Without One Like This.

This is regarding the topic on 'Medical community to include treatment for demons and devils', this never expected from a medical professional. Most of the health problems that the people face are due to lack sufficient immunity and resistance in the body, only some of the religious practises do is the help in improving these elements. As there are so many Harmon's and steroids that work in the body for the metabolism. To arrive at right combination of these is difficult. There should be a clear understanding of these elements in he body and required supplements in appropriate combination. As each and every persons back ground, specially eating habits are different from ages, so automatically the genetics defects do come in. They can all be over come by studying their customs and practices and finding the right combination of these elements. As everybody knows some these are produced in human body itself. So necessary exercise and meditational effects shall do good for improving are balancing the Harmon's and steroids in the human body. What I feel is it is just set of mind. If one has mind every thing can be over come. If devils and demons sit in their mind no body can do any thing for their health. - DBheemeswar

Josh: Your explanation sounds good, but riddle me this: how is it that I heard a story once about a woman who got over her illness after her family prayed for her, and not because of medicines and EKGs and whatnot? I believe that's what a scientist would call "incontrovertible evidence".

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:



The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills: