Letters: September 21, 2009

It's been ten days since our last letters update. Since that time, our readers have all gotten so darned smart, we were unable to write a single snarky or sarcastic response today. The following answers to your comments and questions are all very sincere.

For Example, This One!

They hold antiwar protests then they riot,loot and vandalize and get their sorry butts tossed into jail IDIOTS ALL - Flu-Bird

Josh: Protestors. When will our nation break free of their vice-like grip?

There Are Things On The Internet.

okay. i just threw you that last one as a bone. yep, it's an accomplishment getting something up on the internet...considering that i learned the word 'symposium' last week. isn't that awesome? and i can spell it, too! well, i'll come back periodically. i find you amusing. nice site, btw. i'm on youtube, but i doubt you care. (toothpaste is the other white meat. now post my stupidity, you sonofabitch! ^_^) hey, can you direct some of your webtraffic to my page at [Not really - Ed.]? i could use some os it...you're hoggin it all! rock on bro!!! - vaughnjareya

Josh: That was a YouTube page, all right!

Alarming News: Hipsters Have Learned How To Go Online.

Hello faggots I am a hipster and this is not true - Hipster

Josh: Isn't admitting you're a hipster kind of like announcing to your co-workers that you have herpes?

The EV: A Consumer Advocacy Website.

Do you take submissions? I have a letter written to a credit card company and and answer from them. - brad wethern

Josh: We have been known to take submissions, but that doesn't sound like satire...or especially funny, for that matter.

A Few More Apps And We'll Have Our Very Own Cell Phone!

Hello! I was reading your Iphone apps article in my mobile development class (in which, surprise, we have to make an iphone app!), and the Socially Awkward Hero app actually sparked ideas for a nifty little app my group wants to create. We love the name you used too... Would you be ok if we used "Socially Awkward Hero" as either our dev team name or as an app name? We're not a company, just three (two if the guy in our group jumps ship to work with someone else) college kids in an iphone class :) thanks for your time! - Jessica Waldrip

Josh: Now this is what they made iPhones for. We reached out to Jessica and gave her group the funding (i.e., written encouragement) that they'll need to construct this app. Stay tuned!

Satire. Noun. The Use Of...Ah, What's The Point?

You have to be the most self centered, selfish person I have every heard of. Those comments are riduculous, I have been involved helping people, victims, yes with Madd, as they were there for me 17 years ago when a drunk yahoo killed our daughter, his level at 6pm was 2.88. In that l7 years I have made many, many friends, yes victims, not the way you want to meet people. I hope over the next years you do not kill some innocent person, but perhaps if you are in an accident, you will kill yourself , then we won't have to listen to any of your stupid comments..

[Minutes later... - Ed.]

Why do you not show comments from people who write in, I guess they don't agree with you perhaps, what a loser - Sandra Henderson

Josh: If we allowed comments on our articles, the site would quickly become unreadable...like most websites that allow comments on articles. Instead, we confine misguided angry comments like yours into one section! It's a truly terrible thing that your daughter was killed, but you need to realize the point that the editorial is driving at (hint: it's not that driving drunk is a good idea).

If War Is So Bad, Why Are War Videogames So Awesome?

Stop the wars, enough of the military complex, war mongers and profiteers..Bring the troops home and rebuild America, get the the Bush leftovers OUT and stop this Military coup. WE HAVE KILLED TO MANY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. NO MORE TROOPS...OBAMA - Leo

President Barack Obama, EV Staff member: That's smart thinking, Leo. Thanks for the feedback!

Wait, There's More Than One Girl Named "Taylor"?

Taylor SWIFT? Damn, I thought it was Tayor Dane he called a jack-ass. That woman was so fine, SkyNet would have launched just for insulting her. So I guess I'll put my AK-47 away...for now - Kilroy

Josh: I just found out that her real name isn't Taylor Dayne, though. It's fucking Leslie Wunderman. I don't know what to believe in anymore.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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