Letters: December 8, 2009

Can we really insert graphic pornography into our letters section? Read on and discover the answer to the question everyone is talking about!

A Gay Correction.

adam lambert didnt win american idol kris did - matthew

Josh: It's true: the article did originally state that Adam Lambert won American Idol. We regret the error, and are ashamed that the entire world now knows that we don't watch American Idol.

Bin Who?

This was a nice nostalgic piece from the Dark Ages. Unfortunately, I now realize that I misheard Bush when he promised to get bin Laden. When he said he was going to "smoke him out", and I thought he said he was going to "out smoke him". I pitched in to help, but now I finally figured out I just had a blown speaker. Did we ever get that guy? - kilroy

Josh: I personally am highly disappointed that President Obama has not issued any official Terrorist Hunting Permits. I know of at least seven, but I want to be sure I have permission to kill them from the government I don't care about.

Who Chocula?

Fuck you guys! - Count Chocula

Josh: What the hell? FUCK YOU.

Marijuana: Get Ready For Murder.

This is the most biased thing i've ever seen. whoever wrote this is a joke. - Cooly Mcawesome

Josh: Facts can't be biased, Cooly. You'd know that if you weren't so obviously stoned out of your mind.

Nobody Really Loves 'Twilight', Do They?

i love twilight!! great story!!! - cody kunde

Josh: Which part do you love about it? (Hint: this is a trick question.)

Finally, Mop's Approval.

ha I get it. you guys are all right - mop

Josh: The mere fact that you said that shows how much you don't get it.

A Strong Case For Not Publishing Some Letters.

look bitch u talked a whole lot of shit wait til u suck my dick - hood nigga

Josh: It honestly boggles my mind that someone out there took the time -- even if it was a few seconds -- to write and submit this comment. Is it serious? Did someone really think this? Or is it a joke -- one of the worst jokes ever conceived? No one knows.

Good To Know...?

Sorry, Adam Lambert is NOT my son! - Ghost of Marvin Gay

Josh: This, on the other hand, is most likely a joke, although it would be much more interesting as an actual comment from Marvin Gay's ghost. As it is, I can only put my head in my hands, and wonder about the internet, "What's going on? What's going on?"

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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