Letters: March 16, 2009

This week, we see one reader get angry enough to send us two letters. Will we ever drive somebody to commit homicide by way of temporary rage-filled insanity? Stay tuned!

We Know What The Kids Like.

Good to see you stay on top of current news. Amusing nonetheless. - Joel

Josh: Don't blame us -- blame Google News for not being able to tell the difference between new stories and new old stories that we just put into our archives. Hey, if their maps can bust pot growers halfway across the world from us, knowing how old a news story is should be small potatoes. P.S. -- We love you, Google News, please keep indexing our stories thank you.

Time Makes Fools Of Us All, Especially Us.

You do know that it's spelled RADER don't you, when referring th the btk serial killer? - rumaj

Josh: Yeah well...at the time that story was written, he was spelling it a different way. We have corrected the error to reflect our new modern times, even though it was never really an error to begin with.

So Much Rage...

what in the fuck is you people's problem?!?! marijuana making people vomit blood and become cannibals from munchies? you are fuckin stupid. And the legalization of murder for recreational use?!?!?! oh my god, what is this world coming to? i hate you. - Dick

[Then, one minute later... - Ed.]

fuck off. - Dick

Josh: Dick, would it be okay if we used your comments in the form of a real-life customer testimonial for the site? Please let us know.

Dude Looks Like A Supreme Court Justice Nominee...

Next nominee Aerosmith? Hell yea! - Steve

Josh: I eagerly await their verdict in the case of Regular Guy v. Stupid Establishment That Hates Rocking.

Why So Serious...About Erectile Dysfunction?

No advertisements can cause erectile dysfunction. I believe that lack of the blood supply to the penis is the main cause of the erectile dysfunction and not watching the erectile dysfunction. - Steve Caldwell

Josh: This letter is so serious and straightfoward that I'm convinced it has to be a joke. So, hahaha!

Weed, Fucking Money, Etc.

you know its about time they found a way to legalize weed id rather get high every day than get drunk and die from liver disease and smoke a pack every day and die from cancer. They has never been scientific evidence that proves weed being able to cause any one to die from smoking it but its OK to die from lung cancer and liver damage from drinking and smoking cigs if they can grow tobacco and cell it why not weed there are so many people in America that smoke it why not get are asses out of debt and make some fucking money to give back to the people that pay there taxes - Heather

Josh: I think Founding Father Thomas Jefferson said it best when he said, "Legalizing weed would give some fucking money back to the taxpayers."

That's It, We're Done.

I've had liposuction! But my doctor told me I had to lose 20 lbs before he would consider me for surgery because he wanted to be sure I would follow through and get my mind set in the right way. This guy is not even trying. He's making excuses for eating pork rinds before his doctor's visit. His doctor needs to put his foot down and tell him that unless he changes his diet and tries, he won't do the surgery. With liposuction, you don't lose weight. You lose inches. You still have to cut calories to lose weight. Wake up Citis!!! - Kathyne

Josh: Starting tomorrow, we're changing format to become a serious news reporting site. Think about it: if our fake news draws these kinds of serious reactions, reporting the real news would probably land us like 10 Pulitzer Prizes every month.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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